Many of us may approach the holiday season with pleasure. It is, however, often a difficult and stressful time, too. The pandemic is making it necessary to miss some treasured holiday traditions. We are cautioned to avoid travel and to only gather with people in our “bubble.” Many families in our country have been affected by conflict relating to differing political opinions and differing ideas of health and safety protocols. We are grieving the loss of loved ones for any reason, but the deaths associated with the pandemic have significantly increased the likelihood that many more people have had recent losses. Older adults may already feel isolated and lonely and the pandemic can increase those feelings, often leading to depression. We are called upon to accept many disappointments now and it is that acceptance that can lead us to a better, albeit different, holiday season.
Here are some thoughts to help us find joy and meaning during the holiday season.
A top priority is our ability to respect differing opinions among our loved ones. We are all more than a single opinion. It is a good time to “agree to disagree” and focus ourselves on what we love and admire about each other. Reaching out to our elders and helping them to connect with you virtually could be the best gift to give them. People who are grieving need to know that you love and support them. Listen to them when they need to talk and accept that there is no time limit or right way to process our grief. Most people, although sad, would like to talk about the person they miss and be reminded of their importance to the family. Perhaps ask everyone to share a favorite story about him/her so that in their absence you can keep them present in your hearts and minds.
Get creative with gifts that help people be resilient in this time. Offer to be an exercise buddy, helping each of you to be accountable to a regular practice. Share favorite family recipes and spend some time interacting on Zoom for the traditional family dinner. Many people have developed new hobbies and interests or are still searching for something to do. The right gift can get them started.
It helps to cultivate an attitude of gratefulness, and research supports the positive difference we can make in our lives with that practice. Helping others goes a long way toward having a meaningful holiday. Consider a gift that your family can give to any number of the organizations, health care and food banks, toy collections and many more you can find in your community. Help children write a note to go along with the gift so they can participate.
Giving to others goes a long way toward reducing our own disappointments.
Finally, sit down with family members and get creative about new ways to celebrate the holiday. Have some safe fun and then share those ideas with friends and family. You are apt to be pleasantly surprised with the outcome and it could end up being one of the most meaningful holidays you have experienced! QCBN
By Connie Boston
Connie Boston is the senior peer program manager at West Yavapai Guidance Clinic.
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