Feel the Fear, Do It Anyway, Ignore the Lily Pads

Can you remember back to a time when you could twirl, leap and sing with abandon? Not only that, if someone were watching, you might have loved it even more!

Sadly, that wild, uninhibited freedom of feeling completely alive, joyful and spontaneous seems to get trained out of most of us, probably when we start integrating with more people and feeling their judgement and their disapproval. And now as adults, many of us have developed a thing called: Fear. We fear being criticized. We fear being rejected. We fear being not enough.

The problem is fear can keep us from sharing our gifts and being fully who we were born to be. You likely have heard this quote from American writer Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., “Many people die with their music still in them.”

Recently, I heard this gem: “The graveyard is the richest place on the surface of the earth because there you will see the books that were not published, ideas that were not harnessed, songs that were not sung, and drama pieces that were never acted,” a quote attributed to Bahamian evangelist Myles Monroe.

I believe most people lose or shut down a piece of themselves before they enter kindergarten. For me, it happened at about age 4, as a dancing, singing Pussy Willow. On stage for the first time, wearing makeup, a pale pink tutu with something on my head and maybe even a tail, I could not have been more excited to dance and sing for all the world. However, upon entering the stage for the big night, I was directed to the very back of the pussy willow brigade and suddenly, something new was introduced to the performance: Lily Pads.

Rows of big green swaying lily pads infiltrated the land of little delicate dancing pussy willows. An especially large lily pad named Bobby, with all sorts of green things extending from his costume, was positioned directly in front of me. Bobby completely blocked me from the audience through the whole performance! I couldn’t see my family out there and I figured they couldn’t see me. I started making up my own dance, adding a few more steps to the right and then a few more steps to the left to try to create a window to the audience, always wondering why I was dancing in the shadow of big, floppy Bobby.

Later, upon reflection, I started to consider that I might have been purposely placed in the back where I couldn’t be seen because maybe my dancing wasn’t good enough, maybe my singing wasn’t good enough, maybe I wasn’t pretty enough. The message I carried with me was, “I must not be enough,” and perhaps this was my place, in the darkness of the back row.

We all have our own cumbersome big green lily pads that get in our way and make us question our abilities, our self-worth and our value to the world. Right now, I want to hug that little pussy willow and any others who fear that they are “not enough.” I want to encourage them to keep shining their brightest, even in the shadows.

Master Speaker Trainer Arvee Robinson coaches that fear right out of her clients. Here are three of her tips for dealing with fear:

Identify Your Purpose

What is your purpose? What are you here for? What do you bring that is meaningful and valuable to others? By focusing on your gift, you can nurture that sense of responsibility to act, to do that thing that scares you. It’s OK to be afraid. Go ahead, acknowledge the fear, honor that fear that may have kept you out of trouble in the past. Feel the fear and move forward anyway, right on out of your comfort zone and into that magical place called Growth.

Understand the Reward is Bigger Than the Fear

When we have a mission that we truly believe must be carried out to help others, a message the world has to hear or an outcome that is bigger than ourselves, we can focus on that and look past our fear.

For example, Robinson shares her long-held fear of putting her head under water. She overcame that fear when she learned that seeing the colorful, extraordinary and graceful life under the sea was a reward that far outweighed her fear. “Snorkeling became more beautiful than the fear, the resistance,” she said. “The fear of putting my head under water no longer served me.”

Step into a Higher Version of Yourself

“Uplevel your commitment to yourself. Make that commitment once a day, once a month, once a year, whatever it takes,” said Robinson. “Plant your flag of who you are. You may get off balance, but nothing can take you off course. Over time, your commitment to your mission and to yourself will grow.”

The world, even the watery world, will open up and no obstacle like a big green lily pad can get in the way of your unique dance, song, presentation, book or message that the world needs and wants from you. QCBN

By Bonnie Stevens, QCBN

Hear “How to Become a Superstar Speaker” with Master Speaker Trainer Arvee Robinson on Zonie Living at https://starworldwidenetworks.com/episodes/how-to-become-a-superstar-speaker-with-arvee-robinson-video.

Bonnie Stevens is a public relations consultant. She can be reached at bonnie.stevens@gmail.com.