Many years ago, I agreed to let my mother fix me up on date. In other words, I succumbed to the relentless guilt-laden pressure only a mother can impose, to go out with the “nice” young, single guy she’d met the last time she’d dropped in at my dad’s office. After meeting him, I did have to admit, he surely was agreeable. But, his high marks on the niceness scale had a lot to do with a conversational repertoire composed entirely of platitudes and clichés. He was “taking the tiger by the tail” at work, for example. Closing a favorable condo deal was “like taking candy from a baby” given that his negotiating skills were “over the top.” A co-worker was “tough as nails” because she’d overcome a setback, and when the waiter finally, FINALLY came he declared, “Everything comes to those who wait.” While a numbing disaster as a date, there was no real reason to dislike him because the nature of platitudes is that there is nothing really to disagree with. So, it was no surprise to see him later climb up the success ladder with promotion after promotion in rapid order, even if the only way I made it through an evening with him was by planning out, in my mind, EXACTLY what I would say to my mother upon arriving home. And, no, I do not want to stop by your place after dinner for a cup of coffee.
But it did make me wonder, do platitudes really work? They are a convenient treasure trove of seeming wisdom for many business gurus: Achievement will lead to success! Affirm your positive outlook! Fortune favors the lucky!
F. William Smullen’s “Ways and Means: 50 Strategies for Helping You and Your Boss Succeed,” could easily have been subtitled “50 Platitudes About How To Get Ahead in Your Career.” If I was still in contact with my long ago date, I’d probably send him a copy. That’s not to say that a reader couldn’t find something useful in this book. Helping your boss succeed, after all, is a time honored (if not always infallible) strategy for ensuring your own success. Perhaps Smullen’s platitudes come with a certain level of global gravitas. After all, he was former chief of staff to Colin Powell when the latter was Secretary of State. So, when he writes “Believe in your boss or find another,” you can be sure that he is speaking with the full authority of someone who was offered (but refused) a lucrative job as PR man to Ronald Reagan.
In Chapter Four, Smullen tells the reader to “know more than is expected” although he doesn’t tell you what happens if you know too much, which if we take Edward Snowden as an example, might not be a good thing. In Chapter Five, he advises “anticipate what the boss wants or needs,” which, nonetheless, may not be wise if you work as an intern for Bill Clinton.
My counter-arguments aside, I imagine this book as one you might read over your power breakfast to pump yourself up for the coming work day. Short chapters that are easy to digest, it wouldn’t hurt to glance at it now and again during the day to remind yourself that “it’s about the boss…not you,” while you’re redoing the same report for the umpteenth time, or to “treat every day as game day,” while you politely applaud a co-worker’s raise. Getting ahead in today’s workplace can be tough, so if memorizing a few platitudes is what it takes, bring it on. But if you’re tempted to begin quoting Smullen’s pithy advice, just don’t ask me for a date. QCBN
By Constance DeVereaux
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