“Don’t cancel on yourself,” she says, reminding us to keep those appointments we make with and for ourselves.
In an interview with Jim Heath of JimHeath.TV, she described her typical workday in a big market with the pressure of ratings along with the added weight she felt to succeed for the benefit of other women at a time when glass ceilings were being shattered in newsrooms and other male-dominated workplaces.
“Yes, my day might start by speaking at a 6:00 a.m. Kiwanis Club in Sun City, a school at 9:00, a Rotary Club at noon, then pick up my assignment for a story that afternoon. I co-anchored the 5:00 and 6:00 and sometimes would go back out at night and do another story before co-anchoring the 10:00 newscast. Four times a year there would be the all-important sweeps and I started the unhealthy habit of doing 5 part series during that time that I would produce myself. This resulted in my spending the night at the station during those rating periods to get the series done in time. Needless to say, I had an inflated sense of self-importance of not wanting to let down the women in our business, so I tried to do it all. My marriage died and so did my mental health. I never learned to say no.”
West’s experience demonstrates the painfully high price we pay for not putting ourselves first, not finding balance in our lives and not saying no when we need to. Sadly, too many of us still need to hear this message today. Whether we fear the disappointment of our bosses, clients, associates, family members or friends, or were raised to selflessly serve others, we struggle with being OK with putting ourselves first.
That’s why I love hanging out with PeaceFull Living founder Roberta Hughes. Roberta teaches in-person, online and on-demand yoga, meditation and Pilates classes. She is an entrepreneur, a parent and a daughter with a full life and a full schedule, but somehow, she never appears rushed or impatient. Whatever she is doing, she is there fully and peacefully. She says taking care of yourself and living peacefully takes practice. It also takes discipline. “Don’t cancel on yourself,” she says, reminding us to keep those appointments we make with and for ourselves.
I know I struggle with this to the point of feeling like I need a really solid reason for turning someone else down, especially when I can just reschedule with myself later, even though I rarely do. I actually practice saying no and state my case out loud to the mirror. Unfortunately, the mirror tells me that my reason sounds lame. It does! But the truth is, we don’t need a reason and we certainly don’t need a reason that can stand up against someone else’s will or interrogation or the mirror!
Mary Jo West points out that balance may include having a sense of humor. As a young, laser-focused reporter in the ‘70s, the same decade that Burt Reynolds posed as the centerfold model for Cosmopolitan magazine, West found herself interviewing him. Being the consummate professional, she did not allow his dashing good looks, mischievous “Smokey and the Bandit” smile or centerfold-worthy physique creep into her mind.
And that’s when he dipped her back and went in for a passionate kiss.
After regaining her footing, she smoothed her dress and continued, seemingly unfazed, through the interview. I know you’re thinking, “What? Mary Jo, are you a robot?” The answer is no, she wasn’t a robot, but she was probably concerned about what others might think and then acted accordingly.
Today, she offers a different response. “I would say, ‘Relax and enjoy it! The heck with the interview!’”
Sometimes being balanced means allowing ourselves to be off balance, and laughing about it. QCBN
By Bonnie Stevens, QCBN
Bonnie Stevens is a public relations consultant. She can be reached at bonnie.stevens@gmail.com.
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